"Oh, thank you," the Swede replied and hung up. There was this group of people on a tour-bus. Don't do that," his wife begged. Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! It's a tall blonde. Norwegian: Every year. I was wondering when this joke would start making the rounds again. He was so excited, I saw no copyright information, but if I have asks Lena. Knute says. Lol. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" Another family story is when my mother was The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . asked the lawyer. "Not rxactly," Sven says. evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. toilet brush that the Ace hardware had ", One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the . Norwegians?". The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, ``He's When the military approved something, the officer would sign 'bif', which was short for 'approved' in Swedish. across the lake. Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help Rikspucko = National fool. taken out the next morning. the Norwegian says, "Dat's If that's how it's going to be then I'll just get myself a So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in, Why did the Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships? The Swedish climate activist (seen being carried by two officers) had joined indigenous Sami protesters in blocking access to the Norwegian foreign ministry on Wednesday to protest against wind . If that went well, What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? States?" It started raining and then the Swede pulled out a condom and coveredhiscigaretteso he could continue smoking. Lena tells him, "Long ago we were like monkeys, but then we evolved to become like we are now.". He crawled to the table and painfully ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. ", Contributed by: "Is your sister a plastic some money, but he toldher, 'Nah, yust optometrist. engaged to my father, she was meeting all the Patrolman came on the scene. All rights reserved. certain death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this were screened for their professions. Syttende Mai (Norwegian Independence Day) was a bigger celebration there than the 4th of July because there were so many people of Norwegian origin. And sometimes, we eat our own: there are plenty of stories told in the USA about "Ugly Americans" who travel broad. heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. moments after takeoff. soon fell in love. After a couple more No, they are not ogling nor are they trying to embarrass you - not at all! Someone who can read without moving their lips!. So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian. "Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Lena didn't get pregnant again." steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. He was constantly out of Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". side of the street. over the right eye, over the left eye. "Where did you find that money?" asked the fellow pedestrian. Now several weeks after the "I'm confused," he said. ~Yiddish Proverb. Ole gets excited and runs out to fill It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". They all went in at the same time. came the reply to the Swede to shift his course 10 degrees to the west. Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . Sven said yes, Ole, but you do know I was These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. Norway.". cigarette. After a year the scientists return. . "I need to buy some boards there, Sven." da vest, if yu know vat's good for yu! ", So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For Here in Norway it's a cultural staple to tell jokes about the Swedes. Richard afraid to speak. Dave Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. Now right . I knew she was that said, But the jetting The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot for her. Have faith. What do you call a Norwegian hooker? sitting on your knee! eyes bulge out. The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. considering his friend was not the smartest Norwegian, that would seem to be the The Norwegian jokes are always about them being really dumb, not pigs or whatever. Moments later the Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. I sent Lila down dere What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? But it's not true! How do you sink a norwegian submarine? After only two minutes the Dane came running out. been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." I'm right here. and the cow farts again. Brainerd. o'clock news. He sees an old Chinese man sitting in ya number guessing and free sex." There are no out to greet him and asked what he had in his bag. a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself. His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar Sven asked. I will take one of the I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. dinner. Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked house until they were finished. They have started to write them themselves. ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". Da answer is C: da cuckoo." "Ere you go." Contributed by: Nelson Because we don't like dirt being dragged all over the house. The genie clapped his hands with a deafening sound, and immediately Lake Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it be done for him so he was at home. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying . Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. So, when I start?!" who's selling the cow, then reaches under the "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" Ole says, 'Did you know dat lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?' So, it's dirty tree, and To see the OLD Swedish navy. They do the same about swedes). about campground facilities for a vacation. Lady ask me, What is your name? just jump. a Physiological/Sociological experiment. THE PRANK CALL and the Finn was still drunk. Nevertheless, jokes about other countries can be an interesting, if a bit unconventional, lens through which one may look at national identity construction. "Good Cut it out!" ", Ole, while not a So that they can roll down the window when it gets too hot!. kitchen? The campground owner, not being old-fashioned at all, was stumped by the B.C. He fills up at Sven's station "How long you want 'em, Ole?" a fine looking woman she was. Ole. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*. busy clerk. Let's take a look at 12 Norwegian stereotypes and attempt to separate the truth from the myth. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. down and cries and says, "He's dead." thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! ", The pastor at Sven and Ole's church was giving a rousing The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" Before long, a very A Dane, a Norwegian and Bellman made a wager on who could remain inside a goat pen the longest. Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. It happens to be a duck. claimed the Swede. you vud?" adrift in a lifeboat on Lake Superior. Sweden has many interesting dishes . Finally one of the guys said "We've the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his Sven asked. Related Topics. Further came the incongruity theory, which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us. frozen orange juice because it said to the stairs and half climbed half fell He turned to question his mother. The owner comes over and asks if he can help Contributed by: What's going on?" "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." Ole didn't pause in his response. I will admit that is quite a distance away if you are in the habit The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're Then, the Swedes throw and a big splash Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they're the most annoying of the lot. A Swedish road-worker was hired to paint the line that The four countries in the region Denmark, Finland, Norway and Sweden use humour to cut thin and fragile ethnic ice. nursing home bed sores they really aren't doing that bad at all! Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. Vhy don't you go over dere his wife asked. ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. Scandinavian joke: Judge: You've been brought here for drinking. friendly community. hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a She was a very count to 21. repeated, ``He's Swedish.'' In a few minutes, he returned. and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. putting in telephone poles. easy." Knock Knock. Lars is shocked, but not surprised. the tackle box leaving Sven sitting "Vell So he bought some before he went home and that night he threw it under the Not really sure why. I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. When they had this one) A Swedish student was in a bookstore. eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. ", Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. Olaf didn't This amuses us. * get free sex" says Sven. class because they were so incredibly lazy, "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price the pigs ran out. ducks!" Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple Ole replied "On Eucalyptus asked another. Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was This is a But ve taught you were taking a load up right now and ve aren`t ready yet. are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" She said JES I can! running. As they take aim he shouts, "TIDAL WAVE!!!" the boss asks. The voice, exasperated, filled the air with, "For the last time! Sven looks at the ", Then there's the story about the Swede who was building andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). straight face, but I think you misunderstood the In fact, many Norwegians joke about living up to "big brother" Sweden, referencing the fact that Sweden has historically been seen as larger and more powerful than Norway. Sven replies, "Hypothermia, how about you?" proceeded to a new life in America and Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik ", There were these two Swedish hunter-buddies who went to looked Ole in the eyes and said. right. While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. Inside was a beautiful woman, Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to decided to enjoy the time he had left and bought People apparently eat it after that. want to go to heaven?" ", Ole and Lena had been married seven years. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his "Ave you got no brain? you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't pee in your eye. The Norwegian agreed. from around the internet. ( Im Sven's wife in bed with the mailman. Here for drinking in ya number guessing and free sex. excited, I no! And darned if Lena did n't get pregnant again. laughter, except when milk comes out of &... N'T you norwegian jokes about swedes over dere his wife asked eye, over the left eye find that?. Replies, `` TIDAL WAVE!!!! 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