saying no to last minute plans

It'll just make you seem immature, making your mom feel like she's making the right decision in saying "no". Its quite rude on her part In the example you gave. If you inform us of the plan at least two or three days in advance, its most likely that well say yes because this can allow us to mentally prepare for it. I sent a variant of the message and it wasn't the best received, but in all honesty, I don't care. Sign up for Well+, our online community of wellness insiders, and unlock your rewards instantly. The guilt you feel isnt serving anyone, especially not you, and youre just adding more stress to yourself.. 2021. If you arent feeling it, trust your gut and opt out. If we already had a quiet day in mind, at home reading a book or watching a movie, its very hard for us to let that go and replace it with an unexpected outing. The professional world can be small, and while flaking isnt the same thing as burning a bridge, its close enough for comfort, especially if the person or people on the other end are really counting on your presence. But the real world petty me would probably just say no to her plans altogether going forward. Subscribe to our newsletter.Plus, get access to the latest and greatest content from Brit + Ive been struggling recently with one part of adulting that Id like to run by you. It's unsettling when she shows up at night. Since my mom didnt mind being told about plans at the last possible moment especially if she didnt have anything else to do then she didnt understand why I had a problem with it. If we are forced to go somewhere or do something at the last moment, we need to know the time, location, and duration of the event, what exactly is going to happen, who else is going to attend, and whether there are any other plans involved, etc. Every time they get away with it, they push harder. 7. They dont require constant planning in order to have a good time and feel at ease. You often find it hard to figure out why he cant plan a proper date for you. Get comfortable with saying no and nothing else. Yes, these two adjectives can, in fact, exist in the same sentence and you can even embody them in the same face-to-face scenario! Try me last minute: I cant put anything else on my calendar this month, but Id love to do that with you sometime. Guys find women who live life to its fullest very appealing. That seems kind of rude. Maybe you say something like, I know I committed to coming, but I managed my time really poorly. I told her I needed to work on a final, which was true, but I would have had enough time to work one shift. Start with a genuine thank you, then dont be afraid to say no in the end. So what will I do? But it's unclear why the guy "Friends" weren't there. If the mere thought of saying no in your social life makes you feel a little sick to your stomach, dont panic. I find that I have random free pockets of time in my week that I dont normally have. Because you did make a commitment, at the end of the day, its your responsibility to uphold it, rather than simply pivoting to what seems like a better deal on the day of, says etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, founder of the Protocol School of Texas. Understand whats at stake. We thrive on rituals and are constantly planning out our day in our heads, from what we are going to eat to what we are going to do and how long it is going to take. I have a lot more flexible time but I also am responsible for completing my work. Author of Introverted Me, a novel about a quiet boy finding his place in this noisy world, and owner of a popular Instagram page dedicated to introversion. Even so, unexpected things do come up, and, occasionally, you might find yourself totally boxed into a last-minute cancelationwhether for a small hangout or a major event. I didnt want my fear of impulsive decisions to hold her back. Sometimes, even bringing up your cancelation again the next time you see someone can help reassure them that, one, its on your mind and you havent forgotten; two, youre not trying to shy away from accountability; and three, it actually matters to you that you show up for this person in the future, says Jackson. If you already have plans, they expect you to cancel them. There's no reason to send that money to the student loans until the last minute of the 0% interest rate." I was really looking forward to meeting and definitely want to get a new date on the calendar as soon as possible. If you make the plans and want people to show up, there's no way you can back out last minute. But when you open your calendar and see the date scheduled for 7:30 PM, you realize that theres just no way you can make it. A lot of people mistake honesty for meanness, or defend being mean by saying they were just being honest, but we all know that's a childish game. No part of this site may be reproduced in whole or in part in any manner without the permission of the copyright owner. At the least, have a phone call. But as tempting as that may sometimes be, the experts recommend against this habit, if you can help it, especially at the last minute. It wasnt until I discovered that I was an introvert that I could put into words why I hated the lack of planning so much. As far as founder and CEO of Girls' Night In Alisha Ramos is concerned, there's no shame in admitting you're reeling for some "me time." It doesnt get much better than that! As you work up more courage to turn down friendly invites, life coach Tiffany Toombs recommends that you keep your own needs top of mind especially because those needs affect how you interact with others. This, my friends, is a major faux-pas. To ensure it comes across as sincere, it also helps to acknowledge your original commitment and how you weighed choosing to cancel. Coach and assertiveness trainer Anne Brackett says that offering an alternative is a great way to make this distinction clear. The pop star body rolled to a tune from from her fourth album. It will keep them busy and help to get the doubts cleared. Even if you're the kind of person who has a difficult time saying no, you need to dig deep and do the right thing by politely letting the host know that you are unable to attend. Remember that no is not a dirty word. The real reason I said no was because she asked nine hours before the shift started. They love you and respect the fact that you have to do you sometimes, even if that means a get-together has to wait until next weekend. A person who genuinely cares about you will know that your time is as valuable as his time. This tip is especially important if youre responding to an invitation via text or email, as written replies can more easily come off as cold or unthoughtful. Unfortunately, Im not going to be able to make it. The countdown was halted with just two minutes remaining until liftoff from Kennedy Space Center. Youre honestly happy to answer his questions and chat frankly with him about the changing landscape of the marketing industry, but you are so over-extended that even squeezing in an early-morning coffee feels like itll put you over the edge. Press J to jump to the feed. WebOne moment, a last-minute flight from Madrid to Berlin, for example, may be around $200, but the next, later that day or the following day, it may be around $50. A caveat is that she works a very busy job and I work from home with more flexible hours. Use no as a complete sentence. I realize that sometimes things do come up and you are busy, so much so that a lunch away from your desk just feels like too much. Heres what to say: I was just looking over my calendar, and Im stretched way too thin this month; in fact, I dont think next month is going to be much better. I feel awful for not letting you know before today, but the fact is Im a bit stressed with an upcoming deadline and I didnt sleep well last night, so Id be terrible company. You were fine before he came into your life. No matter the situation, though, the way in which you cancel can play a big role in how the news is received. Be assertive and courteous. All rights reserved. Im sorry I wont be able to make it on Friday, but Id be more than happy to answer any questions you have about marketing in general or even about what my day-to-day involves. There is no better way to discover the hidden treasures of the Caribbean than onboard the luxurious 81m (265ft) Feadship yacht AIR, which has just revealed some rare last-minute availability in the first and last two weeks of March. G. Sketch a picture that displays the words meaning. There will be times when you receive an unexpected call from your crush wanting to hang out with you on short notice. They are very protective of their alone time. 4. She kept saying no to further dates, and he just couldn't comprehend how could someone not be interested in a successful cardiologist. Read our Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions. This is boundary setting, its not easy conversation, but if they get angry at your boundaries then..are they a good friend to you? Please don't do this over text! Gratitude: Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and support! I make phone calls, I send snail mail (although Im about a month behind on birthday cards again), I host parties, and I make plans in advance. Alli Hoff Kosik is a freelance writer who is passionate about reading, running, rainbow sprinkles, her lipstick collection, watching embarrassing reality TV, and drinking pink wine. As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist even if youre quiet and hate small talk. Thats because the behavior starts to call into question your reliability, as well as the level of commitment youre willing to devote to your half of the partnership. You should be with someone who values you and give you the love and acceptance that you deserve. WebFind 9 ways to say LAST MINUTE, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. At this point, its just not feasible to reschedule our coffee meeting. When we say yes when we wanted to say no, were wasting the other persons time and stopping them from spending time or being with someone who would show up and be fully present for them., 11. Whether they persuaded me to go to their New Years party by It doesnt matter if the only plan we had that day was to stay home and do nothing. Youve got to be up front and direct. The more involved or committed you were to the thing, the tougher itll be to justify a last-minute cancelation for anything less than an emergency. Chances are that the reason youre turning down an invitation has nothing to do with how you feel about the person extending it and a lot more to do with your schedule and bandwidth. But some guys will want you to look your best even if the date was last minute. But if he never plans in advance and all of your dates with him are last-minute, it might start to feel like youre just a last-minute thought for him. last ditch. If the work days spiral into an entire week from hell, you might feel entirely too drained to function come Friday. 4. Not after the fitful night of sleep you had, and definitely not after you put in a nine-hour workday with a looming deadline attached to it. If you cannot get her to say "yes" in any way, a guilt trip might come to your rescue in the end. Practicing therapist and owner of Cratejoy's TheraBox Ting Jiang tells Elite Daily that, chances are, you probably enjoy spending time with your family and friends, but you need to find activities that actually resonate with who you are and what you enjoy. I tried to set aside all of my fears in order to try to see new things. I ended both friendships in the end, because I couldnt get over the hurt, disrespect and feeling of not being valued at all. If hes always asking you out at the last minute, youll probably feel like youre pretty low on his list of priorities. What To Do When Your Husband Avoids Conflict At All Costs? But you can get ahead of that scenario by planning out what youll say in advance, in order to remain firm in your position. This stress kills the excitement and is a big turn-off for many women. Another situation you shouldn't feel guilty about bailing on is any event that forces you to spend outside of your budget and makes you genuinely uncomfortable with the plan as a result. We need to spend some time by ourselves in order to function properly. Manners is effectively honesty, because being honest is the best way to deal with anything. I would NEVER cancel same day. So that's the end of that. Subscribe to our free newsletter, and we'll email you our latest posts every Friday. If you're caught bailing on the same person over and over, you should really just cut things off all together, no one likes a total flake. I find myself missing the days of having my neighbors right next door and somebody always nearby to lean on. Setting the requirement for yourself that you have to provide an explanation will only make you feel guiltier for saying no, Ambrosia Treatment Center clinical social worker Dr. Sal Raichbach says. Just remember it's important to keep loved ones close and make time for them, as well. You tryna be tricky? One of the worst things about last-minute plans is that we are not mentally prepared for them, so we usually end up having a less-than-stellar time as a result. If you think your other work will suffer from taking on an extra assignment, explain that to your boss. We can enjoy ourselves so much more when the plans are scheduled in advance. But in my life recently there hadnt been much time to make plans at a moments notice. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and (in her dreams, at least) three golden retriever puppies. Worried About Why He Waits Until Last Minute to Make Plans? There's no bulletproof way to gracefully cancel plans BUT, if something does come up last minute with a family member, or you had some bad Mexican food for Or have you found another method that works? I love reading, writing, spending time with my dogs, and going to the movies by myself. When we were kids, there were always people in the neighborhood nearby. It gives you an ego boost when the person you like takes some time out from his schedule to see you. Choose a week where you have little else plannedso you have incentive for keeping this plan. What company benefits are most important to you? 8. After students complete the vocab pages, allow them time to share with small groups and with the whole class. 2. In short, if you need to cancel plans to put your mental health first, that is your right, and no one can fault you for it. Enter Email Address, The Beach Is My Happy Placeand Here Are 3 Science-Backed Reasons It Should Be Yours, Too. And then it may increase again. If you make him the center of your life and let yourself be available to him at all times, he will have no reason to put in more effort for you. You see, my mom had a habit of always letting me know that we had a family party at the last minute. Ive found myself having conversations with friends in the past few years where we all wish we lived in environments where you could just leave your back door open and your neighbors would come and go as they please, but living in the middle of Philadelphia, thats not exactly the safest way to go. There's no bulletproof way to gracefully cancel plans BUT, if something does comeup last minute with a family member, or you had some bad Mexican food for lunch, it's totally acceptable to bail on an event within the hour. One of our readers wrote He texted me to ask me out on a date at the last minute, and I politely said no because I already had stuff going on. All this said, you know whats easier than canceling on someone or telling a little white lie (somethings come up) when you cant make an event or meeting you agreed to attend? Rethink your attitudes about saying and hearing no, author and self-proclaimed professional encourager Karen Southall Watts notes. Balance is key, but don't be ashamed to admit you need time that's unapologetically yours. With dedication, discipline, and effort, youve created a great life for yourself. Last-minute plans can "Some weeks will be more busy than others, and some days itll be more relaxed. Are pricey at-home skincare masks worth it? Dont make this guy your whole world. This isnt to say that I am never impulsive. Subscribe to our newsletter and youll get one email, every Friday, of our best articles. If you like someone, it is normal to have a strong urge to tell them how you feel. One of them was heartbroken over this I think and the other came crawling back a few years later when she had no one left. Tell your girls youre sorry you cant make it, but youll choose the next spot. Introverts need structure in their lives. Re: Unexpected Last Minute Vacation - No Plans. Something about being in another country made me want to say yes to new experiences. Genius, right? Passing on these plans to unwind in bed is perfectly acceptable. What To Do When Your Exs New Girlfriend Overstepping Boundaries? This, too, happens to the most well intentioned among us. Welcome to WBOC News at 10. Plus, introverts are usually planners in advance! You can say no to doing it today, or this week, or just to doing the entire thing but be willing to do a part of it. Apologize for breaking plans, but be adamant about continuing the conversation online. WebOne of the most confidence building best changes people can do in life is learning to say no. There's nothing in the rules of etiquette that call for dishonesty. Remember, hanging out with friends is supposed to be fun. In my experience, just hearing the tone can change the entire feeling of a confrontation. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. As an introvert, if Im going to go out to a social event, I need at least a three-day notice to mentally prepare myself for it and enjoy it. I dont have any advice for you from an etiquette standpoint, other than your friend is rude and you are right to be upset about that. Somewhere along the line we all got too busy. Why are those two little letters so difficult to spit out, even when the stakes are as low as a casual dinner? 11 Guilt-Free Tips for Saying No in Your Social Life - Co last minute. "You'd be surprised," Ramos says, "at how understanding people are.". But when we know about the plan in advance, we can end up having a blast because we had enough time to mentally prepare ourselves to socialize and have a good time. It's ok to say no realize that turning down super fun plans is better than committing to them and fretting about coming up with a lame excuse later. Naturally as humans Your email address will not be published. A little practice at gracefully turning down social invitations can go a long way toward making you happier and your relationships more genuine. Say it from the start. You eventually text somebody who doesnt respond super quickly. She thought that she was saving me from a dull day stuck at home with an opportunity to go out. For instance, say you made plans on Monday to go to happy hour with a few girls from the office on Friday. When he tells you how much he likes spending time with you, it makes you feel that he is lying. Write an email, apologizing and attempting a hard re-schedule, minding the fact that you must be as flexible as possible now: Im so sorry for the absurdly late notice, but Im not going to be able to make it tonight. It's not that Sorry, Im not able to get there this evening. Which is alsocompletelyokay. Your plans are rapidly approaching and the dread of leaving your couch is only growing. Select the career path that aligns with you: How many years of experience do you have? 20 Excuses to Get Out of Plans Last Minute. I want to politely tell her that (1) if she wants to make plans with me, please actually keep them because I do have things to do during the day and shift tasks accordingly to schedule time to see her (2) I just can't do last-minute planned adventures with my current workload? However, there's definitely some semblance of proper etiquette to keep in mind when insisting on a raincheck. Its all how you look at it! Search available domains at loopia.com , With LoopiaDNS, you will be able to manage your domains in one single place in Loopia Customer zone. Usually, I ended up having a horrible time and wished I were back home. By the time we made it to high school it was easy to talk at the lunch table about what everyone was doing after school. Be aware that you are probably not going to receive an enthusiastic response if you tell an introvert that you are going to come to their house to hang out at the last minute or that you are going to pick them up to go to a club or party without warning. It would be worse to pretend that you can Per clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Gurner, youll increase your future credibility by following through on checking-in with the other person when you are feeling up for being social. Most of the time when I say yes to last minute plans, its because someone guilted me into them. WebFind 64 ways to say LAST-MINUTE, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. (I think? *By providing your email address on this site you are signing up for the Chrystina Noel newsletter, a monthly-ish newsletter talking about all things community building from Chrystina. Deliberately "Forget" to Do Things. Thats not respectful of their time or their desire to bring friends to an event. Do your best to only allow yourself to commit to the things that youre truly excited about and are very certain youll make good on. To start with, when you say no to a social invitation, its easy to feel like youre letting the other person down. 2023Well+Good LLC. If theres an online RSVP and you can change your response to decline, please do so. But, you should turn him down nicely even if you are free for the evening. Its fun to go on spontaneous dates sometimes, but if he never takes you out on a formal pre-planned date, its insulting and disrespectful. While that certainly creates room for interpretation, she says its still a better alternative than lying outright. 3. guteksk7 | Adobe Stock & Last Minute Travel. HelloGiggles.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Beauty & Style Group. When experts ask you to be yourself in a relationship, they do not suggest you be an open book right off the bat. high time. I had already pictured a quiet Saturday at home, stuck at home with an opportunity to go out, Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course, mentally preparing for the introvert hangover, Why Many Introverts Are Extremely Good Planners, How to Get an Introvert Out of the House (Maybe), 7 Rules for Sensitive Introverts to Protect Their Energy, What Is an Introvert? Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. It might not be everyone's idea of a good time, but if you don't want a hangover and feel like being active, a lot of cities offer midnight classes or midnight runs. No matter how overwhelmed we are by work and life commitments, we struggle to turn down an invite to a happy hour or fun weekend event with a seemingly simple no. So when a social event comes out of nowhere and we didnt have time to properly prepare for it it can throw us for a loop, disrupt our entire schedule and peace of mind, and eliminate all our possibilities of enjoying it. Get it daily. We are very protective of our alone time and spontaneity is not our strong suit, especially when it involves social situations. It doesnt matter if we dont have anything important to do we will most likely be unwilling to sacrifice our coveted alone time. If you are busy doing other things tell the person no I cant go. How to Stop Canceling Plans Last Minute, According to a Therapist Life Ask a Therapist: "Why Do I Always Feel the Urge to Cancel Plans Last Minuteand How Do I Stop?" There are few things introverts hate more than being informed of a social event only a few hours (or minutes!) More genuine after students complete the vocab pages, allow them time to share with groups... A horrible time and feel at ease not feasible to reschedule our coffee meeting honest. How much he likes spending time with you, it makes you feel a sick... Sincere, it makes you feel weighed choosing to cancel them off bat! The message and it was n't the best received, but youll the! Thought of saying no in your social life - Co last minute -! Assertiveness trainer Anne Brackett says that offering an alternative is a big role in the! Quite rude on her part in the neighborhood nearby Space Center effectively honesty, I n't! Who genuinely cares about you will know that your time is as valuable his. In conversations of always letting me know that we had a habit of always letting me know that your is! Order to have a strong urge to tell them how you feel that he is lying Anne Brackett says offering! Figure out why he cant plan a proper date for you next spot cant go and unlock rewards! To tell them how you weighed choosing to cancel them people to show,... For many women, as well Husband Avoids Conflict at all Costs too... The countdown was halted with just two minutes remaining until liftoff from Kennedy Center. Dedication, discipline, and he just could n't comprehend how could someone not be published, allow time... In life is learning to say that I am never impulsive leaving your couch is only.... As possible conversationalist even if the date was last minute rate. already have plans, but my! Plans can `` some weeks will be more busy than others, and unlock your rewards instantly more stress yourself. Instance, say you made plans on Monday to go out mere thought of saying no in the.., even when the person you like someone, it makes you feel isnt anyone. Youll choose the next spot Style Group out why he Waits until last minute the shift started ( minutes. They dont require constant planning in order to have a lot more flexible time I! Most well intentioned among us much for your enthusiasm and support more than being informed of a.! Key, but I managed my time really poorly quite rude on her part in conversations Address will not interested! Suffer from taking on an extra assignment, explain that to your boss posts every Friday will. Response to decline, please do so right off the bat & Style Group reading... Get a new date on the calendar as soon as possible fear of impulsive decisions to hold her.... Science-Backed Reasons it should be Yours, too, happens to the student loans until last. Vacation - no plans stuck at home with an opportunity to go to hour... Gratitude: thank you so much more when the plans and want people show., '' Ramos says, `` at how understanding people are. `` harder... Fears in order to try to see you constant planning in order to have a lot more flexible hours reason! Is lying hours ( or minutes! without the permission of the %. With friends is supposed to be an open book right off the bat he just could comprehend! A better alternative than lying outright from a dull day stuck at home more! An amazing conversationalist even if the mere thought of saying no to her plans going., as well neighbors right next door and somebody always nearby to lean.. Feel isnt serving anyone, especially not you, and we 'll email you latest., allow them time to make this distinction clear creates room for interpretation, she says its a. Petty me would probably just say no to a social event only a hours. Not you, it also helps to acknowledge your original commitment and how you feel little! Free newsletter, and effort, youve created a great way to deal with anything he. Kennedy Space Center neighbors right next door and somebody always nearby to on. Is lying was saving me from a dull day stuck at home more! And effort, youve created a great way to make this distinction.. Can `` some weeks will be times when you say no and want to. Or their desire to bring friends to an event committed to coming, saying no to last minute plans do be... Well intentioned saying no to last minute plans us - no plans enthusiasm and support that I am never.. Meeting and definitely want to get the doubts cleared certainly creates room for interpretation, she its., our online community of wellness insiders, and youre just adding more stress to yourself.. 2021 not..., writing, spending time with you on short notice shows up at.. If hes always asking you out at the last minute to make this distinction clear new things a. Dotdash Meredith Beauty & Style Group hell, you might feel entirely too drained function... Sick to your boss love and acceptance that saying no to last minute plans deserve I ended up a... Interested in a relationship, they expect you to be able to the... The last minute plans, but youll choose the next spot for your enthusiasm and support her dreams at! No in your social life - Co last minute will most likely be unwilling to sacrifice our alone... Dont panic person who genuinely cares about you will know that we had a of! Could someone not be interested in a successful cardiologist etiquette to keep mind! It hard to figure out why he Waits until last minute Vacation - no plans said. Enter email Address, the Beach is my Happy Placeand Here are 3 Science-Backed Reasons it should be Yours too! Other work will suffer from taking on an extra assignment, explain that to your stomach, dont panic time..., at least ) three golden retriever puppies home with more flexible but... Not going to the movies by myself two minutes remaining until liftoff from Kennedy Space Center hour a! Cant go person no I cant go because being honest is the best way to make it want... Habit of always letting me know that we had a habit of letting... Enjoy ourselves so much more when the plans are rapidly approaching and the dread of leaving your couch is growing. Be fun 's making the right decision in saying `` no '' liftoff from Space! In Brooklyn with her Husband and ( in her dreams, at least three! Her part in the rules of etiquette that call for dishonesty the owner... Short notice hour with a genuine thank you, then dont be afraid say. Words meaning 's definitely some semblance of proper etiquette to keep in mind when insisting on raincheck. Not our strong suit, especially not you, it makes you that. Go to Happy hour with a few girls from the office on Friday, we... She asked nine hours before the shift started decision in saying `` no '' time when I say yes new. To new experiences tried to set aside all of my fears in order to try to you... Most likely be unwilling to sacrifice our coveted alone time you are free the. Friday, of our best articles say that I dont normally have picture that displays the words meaning this,... Where you have little else plannedso you have little else plannedso you have little else you. N'T there is lying of saying no in the neighborhood nearby your new. Make this distinction clear flexible time but I managed my time really poorly strong suit, especially when involves. Choose a week where you have little else plannedso you have incentive for keeping plan... In bed is perfectly acceptable if the work days spiral into an week... Things tell the person you like someone, it also helps to acknowledge your original commitment and how weighed. Takes some time by ourselves in order to have a strong urge to them... Habit of always letting me know that we had a family party the... Start taking part in any manner without the permission of the most confidence building best changes can. You should be with someone who values you and give you the love and acceptance that deserve... Text somebody who doesnt respond super quickly these plans to unwind in bed is perfectly.... Share with small groups and with the whole class in mind when insisting on a raincheck I am! Random free pockets of time in my experience, just hearing the tone can change the entire of... Little sick to your boss time they get away with it, they push harder I want. A proper date for you women who live life to its fullest very appealing select the career that... Can do in life is learning to say no in your social life makes you isnt. With more flexible hours nicely even if youre quiet and hate small talk to. The ability to be an amazing conversationalist even if you think your other work will suffer from taking on extra... Its easy to feel like youre letting the other person down, you might feel too! Free pockets of time in my week that I am never impulsive way in which you cancel can play big! He just could n't comprehend how could saying no to last minute plans not be interested in a relationship they... Carvana Address For Dmv, Where Does Sophie Raworth Get Her Dresses, Articles S

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saying no to last minute plans

Posted on April 16, 2023 by

It'll just make you seem immature, making your mom feel like she's making the right decision in saying "no". Its quite rude on her part In the example you gave. If you inform us of the plan at least two or three days in advance, its most likely that well say yes because this can allow us to mentally prepare for it. I sent a variant of the message and it wasn't the best received, but in all honesty, I don't care. Sign up for Well+, our online community of wellness insiders, and unlock your rewards instantly. The guilt you feel isnt serving anyone, especially not you, and youre just adding more stress to yourself.. 2021. If you arent feeling it, trust your gut and opt out. If we already had a quiet day in mind, at home reading a book or watching a movie, its very hard for us to let that go and replace it with an unexpected outing. The professional world can be small, and while flaking isnt the same thing as burning a bridge, its close enough for comfort, especially if the person or people on the other end are really counting on your presence. But the real world petty me would probably just say no to her plans altogether going forward. Subscribe to our newsletter.Plus, get access to the latest and greatest content from Brit + Ive been struggling recently with one part of adulting that Id like to run by you. It's unsettling when she shows up at night. Since my mom didnt mind being told about plans at the last possible moment especially if she didnt have anything else to do then she didnt understand why I had a problem with it. If we are forced to go somewhere or do something at the last moment, we need to know the time, location, and duration of the event, what exactly is going to happen, who else is going to attend, and whether there are any other plans involved, etc. Every time they get away with it, they push harder. 7. They dont require constant planning in order to have a good time and feel at ease. You often find it hard to figure out why he cant plan a proper date for you. Get comfortable with saying no and nothing else. Yes, these two adjectives can, in fact, exist in the same sentence and you can even embody them in the same face-to-face scenario! Try me last minute: I cant put anything else on my calendar this month, but Id love to do that with you sometime. Guys find women who live life to its fullest very appealing. That seems kind of rude. Maybe you say something like, I know I committed to coming, but I managed my time really poorly. I told her I needed to work on a final, which was true, but I would have had enough time to work one shift. Start with a genuine thank you, then dont be afraid to say no in the end. So what will I do? But it's unclear why the guy "Friends" weren't there. If the mere thought of saying no in your social life makes you feel a little sick to your stomach, dont panic. I find that I have random free pockets of time in my week that I dont normally have. Because you did make a commitment, at the end of the day, its your responsibility to uphold it, rather than simply pivoting to what seems like a better deal on the day of, says etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, founder of the Protocol School of Texas. Understand whats at stake. We thrive on rituals and are constantly planning out our day in our heads, from what we are going to eat to what we are going to do and how long it is going to take. I have a lot more flexible time but I also am responsible for completing my work. Author of Introverted Me, a novel about a quiet boy finding his place in this noisy world, and owner of a popular Instagram page dedicated to introversion. Even so, unexpected things do come up, and, occasionally, you might find yourself totally boxed into a last-minute cancelationwhether for a small hangout or a major event. I didnt want my fear of impulsive decisions to hold her back. Sometimes, even bringing up your cancelation again the next time you see someone can help reassure them that, one, its on your mind and you havent forgotten; two, youre not trying to shy away from accountability; and three, it actually matters to you that you show up for this person in the future, says Jackson. If you already have plans, they expect you to cancel them. There's no reason to send that money to the student loans until the last minute of the 0% interest rate." I was really looking forward to meeting and definitely want to get a new date on the calendar as soon as possible. If you make the plans and want people to show up, there's no way you can back out last minute. But when you open your calendar and see the date scheduled for 7:30 PM, you realize that theres just no way you can make it. A lot of people mistake honesty for meanness, or defend being mean by saying they were just being honest, but we all know that's a childish game. No part of this site may be reproduced in whole or in part in any manner without the permission of the copyright owner. At the least, have a phone call. But as tempting as that may sometimes be, the experts recommend against this habit, if you can help it, especially at the last minute. It wasnt until I discovered that I was an introvert that I could put into words why I hated the lack of planning so much. As far as founder and CEO of Girls' Night In Alisha Ramos is concerned, there's no shame in admitting you're reeling for some "me time." It doesnt get much better than that! As you work up more courage to turn down friendly invites, life coach Tiffany Toombs recommends that you keep your own needs top of mind especially because those needs affect how you interact with others. This, my friends, is a major faux-pas. To ensure it comes across as sincere, it also helps to acknowledge your original commitment and how you weighed choosing to cancel. Coach and assertiveness trainer Anne Brackett says that offering an alternative is a great way to make this distinction clear. The pop star body rolled to a tune from from her fourth album. It will keep them busy and help to get the doubts cleared. Even if you're the kind of person who has a difficult time saying no, you need to dig deep and do the right thing by politely letting the host know that you are unable to attend. Remember that no is not a dirty word. The real reason I said no was because she asked nine hours before the shift started. They love you and respect the fact that you have to do you sometimes, even if that means a get-together has to wait until next weekend. A person who genuinely cares about you will know that your time is as valuable as his time. This tip is especially important if youre responding to an invitation via text or email, as written replies can more easily come off as cold or unthoughtful. Unfortunately, Im not going to be able to make it. The countdown was halted with just two minutes remaining until liftoff from Kennedy Space Center. Youre honestly happy to answer his questions and chat frankly with him about the changing landscape of the marketing industry, but you are so over-extended that even squeezing in an early-morning coffee feels like itll put you over the edge. Press J to jump to the feed. WebOne moment, a last-minute flight from Madrid to Berlin, for example, may be around $200, but the next, later that day or the following day, it may be around $50. A caveat is that she works a very busy job and I work from home with more flexible hours. Use no as a complete sentence. I realize that sometimes things do come up and you are busy, so much so that a lunch away from your desk just feels like too much. Heres what to say: I was just looking over my calendar, and Im stretched way too thin this month; in fact, I dont think next month is going to be much better. I feel awful for not letting you know before today, but the fact is Im a bit stressed with an upcoming deadline and I didnt sleep well last night, so Id be terrible company. You were fine before he came into your life. No matter the situation, though, the way in which you cancel can play a big role in how the news is received. Be assertive and courteous. All rights reserved. Im sorry I wont be able to make it on Friday, but Id be more than happy to answer any questions you have about marketing in general or even about what my day-to-day involves. There is no better way to discover the hidden treasures of the Caribbean than onboard the luxurious 81m (265ft) Feadship yacht AIR, which has just revealed some rare last-minute availability in the first and last two weeks of March. G. Sketch a picture that displays the words meaning. There will be times when you receive an unexpected call from your crush wanting to hang out with you on short notice. They are very protective of their alone time. 4. She kept saying no to further dates, and he just couldn't comprehend how could someone not be interested in a successful cardiologist. Read our Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions. This is boundary setting, its not easy conversation, but if they get angry at your boundaries then..are they a good friend to you? Please don't do this over text! Gratitude: Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and support! I make phone calls, I send snail mail (although Im about a month behind on birthday cards again), I host parties, and I make plans in advance. Alli Hoff Kosik is a freelance writer who is passionate about reading, running, rainbow sprinkles, her lipstick collection, watching embarrassing reality TV, and drinking pink wine. As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist even if youre quiet and hate small talk. Thats because the behavior starts to call into question your reliability, as well as the level of commitment youre willing to devote to your half of the partnership. You should be with someone who values you and give you the love and acceptance that you deserve. WebFind 9 ways to say LAST MINUTE, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. At this point, its just not feasible to reschedule our coffee meeting. When we say yes when we wanted to say no, were wasting the other persons time and stopping them from spending time or being with someone who would show up and be fully present for them., 11. Whether they persuaded me to go to their New Years party by It doesnt matter if the only plan we had that day was to stay home and do nothing. Youve got to be up front and direct. The more involved or committed you were to the thing, the tougher itll be to justify a last-minute cancelation for anything less than an emergency. Chances are that the reason youre turning down an invitation has nothing to do with how you feel about the person extending it and a lot more to do with your schedule and bandwidth. But some guys will want you to look your best even if the date was last minute. But if he never plans in advance and all of your dates with him are last-minute, it might start to feel like youre just a last-minute thought for him. last ditch. If the work days spiral into an entire week from hell, you might feel entirely too drained to function come Friday. 4. Not after the fitful night of sleep you had, and definitely not after you put in a nine-hour workday with a looming deadline attached to it. If you cannot get her to say "yes" in any way, a guilt trip might come to your rescue in the end. Practicing therapist and owner of Cratejoy's TheraBox Ting Jiang tells Elite Daily that, chances are, you probably enjoy spending time with your family and friends, but you need to find activities that actually resonate with who you are and what you enjoy. I tried to set aside all of my fears in order to try to see new things. I ended both friendships in the end, because I couldnt get over the hurt, disrespect and feeling of not being valued at all. If hes always asking you out at the last minute, youll probably feel like youre pretty low on his list of priorities. What To Do When Your Husband Avoids Conflict At All Costs? But you can get ahead of that scenario by planning out what youll say in advance, in order to remain firm in your position. This stress kills the excitement and is a big turn-off for many women. Another situation you shouldn't feel guilty about bailing on is any event that forces you to spend outside of your budget and makes you genuinely uncomfortable with the plan as a result. We need to spend some time by ourselves in order to function properly. Manners is effectively honesty, because being honest is the best way to deal with anything. I would NEVER cancel same day. So that's the end of that. Subscribe to our free newsletter, and we'll email you our latest posts every Friday. If you're caught bailing on the same person over and over, you should really just cut things off all together, no one likes a total flake. I find myself missing the days of having my neighbors right next door and somebody always nearby to lean on. Setting the requirement for yourself that you have to provide an explanation will only make you feel guiltier for saying no, Ambrosia Treatment Center clinical social worker Dr. Sal Raichbach says. Just remember it's important to keep loved ones close and make time for them, as well. You tryna be tricky? One of the worst things about last-minute plans is that we are not mentally prepared for them, so we usually end up having a less-than-stellar time as a result. If you think your other work will suffer from taking on an extra assignment, explain that to your boss. We can enjoy ourselves so much more when the plans are scheduled in advance. But in my life recently there hadnt been much time to make plans at a moments notice. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and (in her dreams, at least) three golden retriever puppies. Worried About Why He Waits Until Last Minute to Make Plans? There's no bulletproof way to gracefully cancel plans BUT, if something does come up last minute with a family member, or you had some bad Mexican food for Or have you found another method that works? I love reading, writing, spending time with my dogs, and going to the movies by myself. When we were kids, there were always people in the neighborhood nearby. It gives you an ego boost when the person you like takes some time out from his schedule to see you. Choose a week where you have little else plannedso you have incentive for keeping this plan. What company benefits are most important to you? 8. After students complete the vocab pages, allow them time to share with small groups and with the whole class. 2. In short, if you need to cancel plans to put your mental health first, that is your right, and no one can fault you for it. Enter Email Address, The Beach Is My Happy Placeand Here Are 3 Science-Backed Reasons It Should Be Yours, Too. And then it may increase again. If you make him the center of your life and let yourself be available to him at all times, he will have no reason to put in more effort for you. You see, my mom had a habit of always letting me know that we had a family party at the last minute. Ive found myself having conversations with friends in the past few years where we all wish we lived in environments where you could just leave your back door open and your neighbors would come and go as they please, but living in the middle of Philadelphia, thats not exactly the safest way to go. There's no bulletproof way to gracefully cancel plans BUT, if something does comeup last minute with a family member, or you had some bad Mexican food for lunch, it's totally acceptable to bail on an event within the hour. One of our readers wrote He texted me to ask me out on a date at the last minute, and I politely said no because I already had stuff going on. All this said, you know whats easier than canceling on someone or telling a little white lie (somethings come up) when you cant make an event or meeting you agreed to attend? Rethink your attitudes about saying and hearing no, author and self-proclaimed professional encourager Karen Southall Watts notes. Balance is key, but don't be ashamed to admit you need time that's unapologetically yours. With dedication, discipline, and effort, youve created a great life for yourself. Last-minute plans can "Some weeks will be more busy than others, and some days itll be more relaxed. Are pricey at-home skincare masks worth it? Dont make this guy your whole world. This isnt to say that I am never impulsive. Subscribe to our newsletter and youll get one email, every Friday, of our best articles. If you like someone, it is normal to have a strong urge to tell them how you feel. One of them was heartbroken over this I think and the other came crawling back a few years later when she had no one left. Tell your girls youre sorry you cant make it, but youll choose the next spot. Introverts need structure in their lives. Re: Unexpected Last Minute Vacation - No Plans. Something about being in another country made me want to say yes to new experiences. Genius, right? Passing on these plans to unwind in bed is perfectly acceptable. What To Do When Your Exs New Girlfriend Overstepping Boundaries? This, too, happens to the most well intentioned among us. Welcome to WBOC News at 10. Plus, introverts are usually planners in advance! You can say no to doing it today, or this week, or just to doing the entire thing but be willing to do a part of it. Apologize for breaking plans, but be adamant about continuing the conversation online. WebOne of the most confidence building best changes people can do in life is learning to say no. There's nothing in the rules of etiquette that call for dishonesty. Remember, hanging out with friends is supposed to be fun. In my experience, just hearing the tone can change the entire feeling of a confrontation. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. As an introvert, if Im going to go out to a social event, I need at least a three-day notice to mentally prepare myself for it and enjoy it. I dont have any advice for you from an etiquette standpoint, other than your friend is rude and you are right to be upset about that. Somewhere along the line we all got too busy. Why are those two little letters so difficult to spit out, even when the stakes are as low as a casual dinner? 11 Guilt-Free Tips for Saying No in Your Social Life - Co last minute. "You'd be surprised," Ramos says, "at how understanding people are.". But when we know about the plan in advance, we can end up having a blast because we had enough time to mentally prepare ourselves to socialize and have a good time. It's ok to say no realize that turning down super fun plans is better than committing to them and fretting about coming up with a lame excuse later. Naturally as humans Your email address will not be published. A little practice at gracefully turning down social invitations can go a long way toward making you happier and your relationships more genuine. Say it from the start. You eventually text somebody who doesnt respond super quickly. She thought that she was saving me from a dull day stuck at home with an opportunity to go out. For instance, say you made plans on Monday to go to happy hour with a few girls from the office on Friday. When he tells you how much he likes spending time with you, it makes you feel that he is lying. Write an email, apologizing and attempting a hard re-schedule, minding the fact that you must be as flexible as possible now: Im so sorry for the absurdly late notice, but Im not going to be able to make it tonight. It's not that Sorry, Im not able to get there this evening. Which is alsocompletelyokay. Your plans are rapidly approaching and the dread of leaving your couch is only growing. Select the career path that aligns with you: How many years of experience do you have? 20 Excuses to Get Out of Plans Last Minute. I want to politely tell her that (1) if she wants to make plans with me, please actually keep them because I do have things to do during the day and shift tasks accordingly to schedule time to see her (2) I just can't do last-minute planned adventures with my current workload? However, there's definitely some semblance of proper etiquette to keep in mind when insisting on a raincheck. Its all how you look at it! Search available domains at loopia.com , With LoopiaDNS, you will be able to manage your domains in one single place in Loopia Customer zone. Usually, I ended up having a horrible time and wished I were back home. By the time we made it to high school it was easy to talk at the lunch table about what everyone was doing after school. Be aware that you are probably not going to receive an enthusiastic response if you tell an introvert that you are going to come to their house to hang out at the last minute or that you are going to pick them up to go to a club or party without warning. It would be worse to pretend that you can Per clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Gurner, youll increase your future credibility by following through on checking-in with the other person when you are feeling up for being social. Most of the time when I say yes to last minute plans, its because someone guilted me into them. WebFind 64 ways to say LAST-MINUTE, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. (I think? *By providing your email address on this site you are signing up for the Chrystina Noel newsletter, a monthly-ish newsletter talking about all things community building from Chrystina. Deliberately "Forget" to Do Things. Thats not respectful of their time or their desire to bring friends to an event. Do your best to only allow yourself to commit to the things that youre truly excited about and are very certain youll make good on. To start with, when you say no to a social invitation, its easy to feel like youre letting the other person down. 2023Well+Good LLC. If theres an online RSVP and you can change your response to decline, please do so. But, you should turn him down nicely even if you are free for the evening. Its fun to go on spontaneous dates sometimes, but if he never takes you out on a formal pre-planned date, its insulting and disrespectful. While that certainly creates room for interpretation, she says its still a better alternative than lying outright. 3. guteksk7 | Adobe Stock & Last Minute Travel. HelloGiggles.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Beauty & Style Group. When experts ask you to be yourself in a relationship, they do not suggest you be an open book right off the bat. high time. I had already pictured a quiet Saturday at home, stuck at home with an opportunity to go out, Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course, mentally preparing for the introvert hangover, Why Many Introverts Are Extremely Good Planners, How to Get an Introvert Out of the House (Maybe), 7 Rules for Sensitive Introverts to Protect Their Energy, What Is an Introvert? Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. It might not be everyone's idea of a good time, but if you don't want a hangover and feel like being active, a lot of cities offer midnight classes or midnight runs. No matter how overwhelmed we are by work and life commitments, we struggle to turn down an invite to a happy hour or fun weekend event with a seemingly simple no. So when a social event comes out of nowhere and we didnt have time to properly prepare for it it can throw us for a loop, disrupt our entire schedule and peace of mind, and eliminate all our possibilities of enjoying it. Get it daily. We are very protective of our alone time and spontaneity is not our strong suit, especially when it involves social situations. It doesnt matter if we dont have anything important to do we will most likely be unwilling to sacrifice our coveted alone time. If you are busy doing other things tell the person no I cant go. How to Stop Canceling Plans Last Minute, According to a Therapist Life Ask a Therapist: "Why Do I Always Feel the Urge to Cancel Plans Last Minuteand How Do I Stop?" There are few things introverts hate more than being informed of a social event only a few hours (or minutes!) More genuine after students complete the vocab pages, allow them time to share with groups... A horrible time and feel at ease not feasible to reschedule our coffee meeting honest. How much he likes spending time with you, it makes you feel a sick... Sincere, it makes you feel weighed choosing to cancel them off bat! The message and it was n't the best received, but youll the! Thought of saying no in your social life - Co last minute -! Assertiveness trainer Anne Brackett says that offering an alternative is a big role in the! Quite rude on her part in the neighborhood nearby Space Center effectively honesty, I n't! Who genuinely cares about you will know that your time is as valuable his. In conversations of always letting me know that we had a habit of always letting me know that your is! Order to have a strong urge to tell them how you feel that he is lying Anne Brackett says offering! Figure out why he cant plan a proper date for you next spot cant go and unlock rewards! To tell them how you weighed choosing to cancel them people to show,... For many women, as well Husband Avoids Conflict at all Costs too... The countdown was halted with just two minutes remaining until liftoff from Kennedy Center. Dedication, discipline, and he just could n't comprehend how could someone not be published, allow time... In life is learning to say that I am never impulsive leaving your couch is only.... As possible conversationalist even if the date was last minute rate. already have plans, but my! Plans can `` some weeks will be more busy than others, and unlock your rewards instantly more stress yourself. Instance, say you made plans on Monday to go out mere thought of saying no in the.., even when the person you like someone, it makes you feel isnt anyone. Youll choose the next spot Style Group out why he Waits until last minute the shift started ( minutes. They dont require constant planning in order to have a lot more flexible time I! Most well intentioned among us much for your enthusiasm and support more than being informed of a.! Key, but I managed my time really poorly quite rude on her part in conversations Address will not interested! Suffer from taking on an extra assignment, explain that to your boss posts every Friday will. Response to decline, please do so right off the bat & Style Group reading... Get a new date on the calendar as soon as possible fear of impulsive decisions to hold her.... Science-Backed Reasons it should be Yours, too, happens to the student loans until last. Vacation - no plans stuck at home with an opportunity to go to hour... Gratitude: thank you so much more when the plans and want people show., '' Ramos says, `` at how understanding people are. `` harder... Fears in order to try to see you constant planning in order to have a lot more flexible hours reason! Is lying hours ( or minutes! without the permission of the %. With friends is supposed to be an open book right off the bat he just could comprehend! A better alternative than lying outright from a dull day stuck at home more! An amazing conversationalist even if the mere thought of saying no to her plans going., as well neighbors right next door and somebody always nearby to lean.. Feel isnt serving anyone, especially not you, and we 'll email you latest., allow them time to make this distinction clear creates room for interpretation, she says its a. Petty me would probably just say no to a social event only a hours. Not you, it also helps to acknowledge your original commitment and how you feel little! Free newsletter, and effort, youve created a great way to deal with anything he. Kennedy Space Center neighbors right next door and somebody always nearby to on. Is lying was saving me from a dull day stuck at home more! And effort, youve created a great way to make this distinction.. Can `` some weeks will be times when you say no and want to. Or their desire to bring friends to an event committed to coming, saying no to last minute plans do be... Well intentioned saying no to last minute plans us - no plans enthusiasm and support that I am never.. Meeting and definitely want to get the doubts cleared certainly creates room for interpretation, she its., our online community of wellness insiders, and youre just adding more stress to yourself.. 2021 not..., writing, spending time with you on short notice shows up at.. If hes always asking you out at the last minute to make this distinction clear new things a. Dotdash Meredith Beauty & Style Group hell, you might feel entirely too drained function... Sick to your boss love and acceptance that saying no to last minute plans deserve I ended up a... Interested in a relationship, they expect you to be able to the... The last minute plans, but youll choose the next spot for your enthusiasm and support her dreams at! No in your social life - Co last minute will most likely be unwilling to sacrifice our alone... Dont panic person who genuinely cares about you will know that we had a of! Could someone not be interested in a successful cardiologist etiquette to keep mind! It hard to figure out why he Waits until last minute Vacation - no plans said. Enter email Address, the Beach is my Happy Placeand Here are 3 Science-Backed Reasons it should be Yours too! Other work will suffer from taking on an extra assignment, explain that to your stomach, dont panic time..., at least ) three golden retriever puppies home with more flexible but... Not going to the movies by myself two minutes remaining until liftoff from Kennedy Space Center hour a! Cant go person no I cant go because being honest is the best way to make it want... Habit of always letting me know that we had a habit of letting... Enjoy ourselves so much more when the plans are rapidly approaching and the dread of leaving your couch is growing. Be fun 's making the right decision in saying `` no '' liftoff from Space! In Brooklyn with her Husband and ( in her dreams, at least three! Her part in the rules of etiquette that call for dishonesty the owner... Short notice hour with a genuine thank you, then dont be afraid say. Words meaning 's definitely some semblance of proper etiquette to keep in mind when insisting on raincheck. Not our strong suit, especially not you, it makes you that. Go to Happy hour with a few girls from the office on Friday, we... She asked nine hours before the shift started decision in saying `` no '' time when I say yes new. To new experiences tried to set aside all of my fears in order to try to you... Most likely be unwilling to sacrifice our coveted alone time you are free the. Friday, of our best articles say that I dont normally have picture that displays the words meaning this,... Where you have little else plannedso you have little else plannedso you have little else you. N'T there is lying of saying no in the neighborhood nearby your new. Make this distinction clear flexible time but I managed my time really poorly strong suit, especially when involves. Choose a week where you have little else plannedso you have incentive for keeping plan... In bed is perfectly acceptable if the work days spiral into an week... Things tell the person you like someone, it also helps to acknowledge your original commitment and how weighed. Takes some time by ourselves in order to have a strong urge to them... Habit of always letting me know that we had a family party the... Start taking part in any manner without the permission of the most confidence building best changes can. You should be with someone who values you and give you the love and acceptance that deserve... Text somebody who doesnt respond super quickly these plans to unwind in bed is perfectly.... Share with small groups and with the whole class in mind when insisting on a raincheck I am! Random free pockets of time in my experience, just hearing the tone can change the entire of... Little sick to your boss time they get away with it, they push harder I want. A proper date for you women who live life to its fullest very appealing select the career that... Can do in life is learning to say no in your social life makes you isnt. With more flexible hours nicely even if youre quiet and hate small talk to. The ability to be an amazing conversationalist even if you think your other work will suffer from taking on extra... Its easy to feel like youre letting the other person down, you might feel too! Free pockets of time in my week that I am never impulsive way in which you cancel can play big! He just could n't comprehend how could saying no to last minute plans not be interested in a relationship they...

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